27: blood bound

vähän väsyneillä fiiliksillä olisi tarkoitus lähteä ruotsia lukemaan. ennen sitä tulin kuitenkin postaamaan vähän flarttia ja tänään kirjoittamani kahdennenkymmenennenseitsemännen (uh-huh!) luvun. sanamäärä kasvoi kohisten ja tarina on 3776 sanaa 50000 vailla. saa nähdä miten tämä prosessi onnistuu nyt koeviikon jatkuessa - onneksi minulla ei ole enää kuin kaksi koetta. :)

 (näköjään mukaan mahtui myös hemuli ja kokouksen pöytäkirjaa... kuten myös vähän aiheeseen liittyvääkin:) vaikkei ehkä tähän lukuun.)

Chapter Twenty-seven

No, my heart said. This is wrong.

Yes, said my logic. It’s not something you can control.

Somehow, in the corners of my mind I returned to my first life. That moment I could understand why Ashley had become so twisted. When her parents divorced when she was twelve, she was a pouting kid who hated the mere sight of her stepfather. She was angry for her mother, angry for loving someone else, because her heart still felt for her father, and replacing that heartbeat with something alien ripped her apart.

Was this what Tristen wanted to show me?

“Tristen,” the woman breathed in her Spanish accent, flapping her heavy-lidded eyes. “We did it this time.”
Tristen pulled apart from her, and I used the second to study the connection between the two. Their eyes burned of a sick passion, something bestial and powerful. There was a magnetic glow in between them, something I felt break when Tristen crashed his full focus on me.

“It has been wise of Severina to warn her council,” he nodded, “But she underestimates me.”
The female figure next to him breathed heavily, a beauty spot heaving in between her collarbones. Suddenly I understood what she was feeling. Relief.

“Is this what you wanted to show me?” I asked weakly. “That you’ve finally gotten over mamma? Do you know what she did because of you?” I forced the last words up my throat. “She’s dead now, you know.”

“I know she is,” Tristen said indifferently. It was when I noticed his guardian pendant, too, was gone – it hung between the breasts of the tanned woman in the golden dress. “The moment I committed myself to another woman I felt our bond break. I gave my soul to Barbra and she felt it. It severed her soul from her body.”
I turned my gaze to the latin woman – Barbra, who had turned her attention on her male replica, a man he called Vijay. I couldn’t see her face, but in my mind’s eye I imagined her smile.

“But you, alike your sister,” Tristen continued, “Are very ignorant of those things.”
It was unclear to me what Tristen meant – love, betrayal or death. Perhaps them all. But I was very familiar of one of them.

“You’ve betrayed me. You’ve betrayed this world!” My voice rose to a yell. “You think I don’t know what you’ve been doing, but I do. And the worst thing is… you think you’re doing the right thing, but you’re wrong. Terribly wrong.”

But Tristen only looked at me as if I had claimed sky being green instead of blue. “And what do you think I am doing?”

My words came out as a stutter. “You’re shaking balance. Taking pieces of Earth and bringing them to Kaiya while this world suffocates and Earth dies. And now you’re taking the Elemental scrolls to have superior control over all the elements.”

Tristen seemed almost surprised, as if he wouldn’t have expected me having such a wide range of vocabulary. “What else?”
 “That’s not what we should discuss right now,” I said. “Maybe you should be more worried about what the council thinks when the scrolls are gone. If I tell them, no-one will believe me. But they will believe the Elementals.”

Tristen’s expression was blank, until very unexpectedly, it broke into a smile – a smile full of pride, not glee.

“I truly chose the wrong child.”
I froze. “What did you say?”
Tristen looked into the distance, as if he was counting how much time he had, before he dashed back to me. His figure blocked out the light and turned his hair into a golden halo. Slowly he reached out a finger as if he was to lift my chin, but instead he stroke my hair, sending shivers through me. As he spoke, something flashed behind his eyes. “You look nothing like her. You look nothing like Joy.”
A recollection flashed inside my mind, the sadness in mamma’s eyes every time she looked at me.

“In turn, while Severina is just like her. You remind me of someone.”

Yourself, I thought. I’m just like you, aren’t I? The hair, the eyes, the logic, the intuition.

Tristen pulled his hand from my hair, now fingering his ring of power. “But there is blind trust in you that should not belong. Without it…“
“Without it what?”

Tristen furrowed his brows. “It would be a use for you to read the Elemental scrolls.”

I gave a dry laugh. “You’re trying to convince me to your side? I hope you’ll at least have cookies.”
Tristen apparently didn’t understand the reference. “Do you know who have written the Elemental scrolls?”
Nothing came in my mind but blank. The guardians, perhaps? But the scrolls were older than that…

“The Elementals themselves,” Tristen answered. “There is no given right to swear, call or depend on the Elementals without knowing their power.”
“But…” my voice shook as my cool control turned into uncertainty. “The Elementals can’t have written anything. They’re… elements.”
“An Elemental,” Tristen began in a casual tone, as if he was reading a definition out of a dictionary, “Is the physical embodiment of an element. In the beginning of the worlds they were the offspring of Energy. Guardians are chosen by their measure of benevolence?” Tristen laughed sharply, “Not likely. They are chosen by their amount of Elemental blood.”
My mouth gaped wide open as if I was to say something, but my confusion blocked out all the words. I had encountered an Elemental, seen Fire with a capital F. But there had been nothing more than flames.

“Many claim to have encountered an Elemental,” Tristen said, as if he had read my thoughts. Perhaps he even had. He, after all, was somehow capable of mind control. “But they are all only reflections. No Elemental has ever shown itself to a mortal, not a single time.”

I shook my head incredulously. “What does this have to do with anything?”
Tristen smiled. “It has to do with everything. If it hasn’t yet dawned to you what I am to do with the scrolls, I would not suggest mentioning our little appointment to anyone.”

I felt the veins on my neck pounding, pulsing blood to my feet and fingertips. My feet weren’t tied up yet. I could kick him. I could stand up and run away. But why was I so afraid to leave?

“Felice,” Tristen called, turning towards his minions. “Come here.”
Fera jogged to my side, and Tristan pulled me from the shadows with a single swift motion. There was a slash on my wrists and I knew I was free. The rope of light crumbled into photons between Tristen’s fingers. We exchanged a blank look, as if he was expecting me to do something. “You still cannot understand,” he said.

I felt like I could punch him right in the face, but the pain in my elbow was blinding. I gave no answer, and Tristen raised his index finger in a familiar gesture. “When I was young, I was taught to build a puzzle before instructing someone else to do it.”

I managed an answer between my teeth. “What the hell do you mean?”

Tristen answered my question with a question. “Do you know what is your sister’s greatest flaw?” He paused. “She thinks she knows everything.”
The words had a shocking finality. With a motion which seemed as forced as he was trying to lift a boulder over his head, Tristen clutched his fists, evaporating into a pure explosion of energy.

For a moment I only stared incredulously at the spot he had been standing in, as if to find a single trace of him: a lock of his hair, a footprint. The feeling of his touch had faded, and nothing was left but the blank walls where the scrolls had once been.

Light scattered on my face, and I raised my gaze as if the ceiling was opening above me. But there was no-one present in the room than I and Fera who had fallen on his knees beside me, light reflecting from his eyes like they were truly silver.

Then, just like in a reverse version of my vision, he bent down to kiss me, as if nothing had changed.

There was a yell, and several things happened simultaneously.

I used my functioning hand to push Fera further from me, rolling away as if I had been compressed under a truck. There was wild passion in his eyes, a feeling which both drew and pushed me away from him. Beside us Talia had regained consciousness, staring at us as if she was seeing something unnatural and inhumane. On the opposite edge of the room Circus had risen to her feet, staring bewilderedly at the empty scroll walls and the disappeared column of color. Next to her, Aes faced my eyes with a heartbroken expression, something I had to turn my eyes away from.

“Get off me,” I spat at Fera. “Leave.”
“I will stay with you,” Fera said incredibly persuasively, his voice rough. “I will not-“
“Hilary,” Chyse began in a blood-freezing tone. “What happened?”

The guardians were in council.

Severina’s expression had been chalk-white as she descended down the staircase together with Tristen and discovered the scrolls had been taken. Most of the guardians had led their shocked councelors home before they disappeared inside their chamber five floors above. Only I had stayed to wait for Severina. I sat in the grass for hours, only looking at the stars and wondering how I had always been unable to locate it anywhere in Kaiya. It wasn’t until I saw him I noticed I had been crying. The ground below was soaked as if it had rained.

“Hilary,” Fera said, emerging from the haze like a ghost. “Are you all right?”

Something snapped inside my head. As he got close enough, I charged full force at him, striking him down. But the most confusing in the situation wasn’t that he dared to come to me like that. It was how I noted I was standing far away from him without actually ever touching him. He had flung across the air as if of his own will, lying on his back in a flowerbed. The absurdness of the situation startled me and I drew back until I almost tripped on a staircase. Fera’s clothes and hair rippled of a sudden wind, and I fought the urge not to spread my arms and hurl him across the yard.

“Of course I am not,” I said. “Stop acting like nothing happened!”
Fera put out a hand to steady himself while standing up, and I flung my hand to trip him over again. “You are the single most sickening person in this dimension! Is there anything you didn’t lie to me of?”
Fera raised his head reluctantly, maybe knowing I would be capable of knocking him over again. “You have the right to be angry,” he said.

I sighed, my throat sore of all the yelling. “Tell me one thing, Fera, if that even is your name. What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came here to explain,” Fera said, speaking to the sky. “Please, let me explain.”

I passed a hand over my face wearily. “All right. You can get up, but with conditions. No weapons, no lies, no touching, no kissing. Understood?”
Fera nodded and got up, taking a step towards me. I put out a hand to measure a safe distance. “Stand where my fingertips are. No closer, no further.”
Fera shrugged, but followed.

“Fera,” I began. “It’s not your real name, or is it? Tristen called you something else.”

“Felice,” Fera pronounced awkwardly, as if he wasn’t really used to the name. “Fera is an abbreviation.”
“What does the ‘ra’ stand for? Random?”
Fera pursed his lips together. “Rayne. My last name.”
“Felice Rayne?” I repeated unbelievingly, translating his name into an understandable form. “Your name means ‘lucky rain?’”

“Hilary Messing,” Fera corresponded, “Is not such a shabby name either.”

I raised a finger and a wisp of wind fluttered my hair. Fera zipped his mouth shut. “What else did you lie me about? Oh, that you’re actually a light councelor in training. What’s up with the whole ‘never heard of any Tristen’-bullshit? He’s your guardian! You never even had any amnesia!”
“I can make up to that-“
“No, you can’t. Everything just can’t be made up to with a ‘sorry’ and a kiss. Don’t even think about it.”
Fera closed his eyes as he spoke, and I could clearly see he was struggling to find the right words. “I was part of his plan. In the beginning I did not care, but then, but now-“
“What are you trying to say?”

Fera’s eyes flashed. “What happened in the archives, how I tied you up and told you to stay quiet – I did it to protect you. No matter what you say, I did it to protect you. And I risked my own life.”

For a second I lost grasp of myself, only standing and staring into Fera’s liquid silver eyes. I only managed a weak whisper. “Why would you do something like that?”

“I-“ Fera began, cutting off his sentence as if he changed his course of thought. “I don’t want to work for Tristen. I don’t want to do the things he does. It would take me forever to explain it all, so forgive me. But there is one thing I can tell you. I can help you.”
My eyebrows rose doubtfully. “Help me? Why should I accept it?”
“Because I know Tristen better than you. I understand him. If there is anything that bothers you with what he said, I can try to make it clear.”
A laugh escaped between my lips. “So you’re like my personal English-Tristen-English-dictionary?”
Fera smiled. “I could say that. Please trust me. I know you can. Why else would we be doing this?”

My eyes went down to my hands, and a jolt of surprise went through me. Without me noticing I had taken his hand. For a swift second I thought I saw the razors of his eyes flash, but it was only a memory. I didn’t trust him. But there was something he knew I didn’t, something I had to find out.

“Fera…” I began, slipping my fingers from his. “I believe you. But I can’t trust you. I’m sorry. At least not yet. I don’t know if there is anything I can do at the moment.”

An incredible wave of weariness passed over me and I sat down on the stairs. My cheeks were still wet, my hands shaking. I had never felt as helpless before. “They wouldn’t believe me,” I breathed, looking up at the highest council floor. Light poured from the windows. “Not even my friends would. When I first saw Talia look at me…” I shivered. “Tristen has been messing with her mind. He’s capable of mind control, isn’t he?”
“Yes,” Fera sat next to me. “But it is not that simple. The mind is like a door. To gain entrance you need a key, a permission. No-one usually gives it straight. It just needs the right words.”

I stared blankly into emptiness, ignoring the fact Fera might have very well been capable of it too.  I tried to think of something; anything, but mine and Tristen’s conversation only ran through my mind over and over again. I thought of how Tristen had spoken of mamma, trying futilely to fit them together. Joy and Tristen, happiness and sorrow. I know she is dead, he had said. The moment I committed myself to another woman I felt our bond break. It severed her soul from her body.

The tinkle of wind-chimes filled my mind as I returned to my vision. My mamma is dead, my reflection had spoken. Between my ears Fera’s voice magnified and turned visible, into light, the color of his soul when I had truly seen him, in the world as we dreamed it. You lie.

“Father,” I began, my voice as haunted as I, too, was a spirit. It was the first time I called him that. “Can he… can he access the spirit realm?”
Fera raised his gaze, his eyes like breaking glass. He looked at me as if I had asked a question he was afraid to answer.

“Yes,” he answered, and I saw mamma in her eyes.