Chapter Twenty-three
The music was like listening to the sounds of the earth itself: plants rooting, trees growing, flowers opening their petals. Gravel crushing against gravel, the sound of dirt and grass. It was a symphony of survival, a symphony of life.
While Rilla sang about all those things, Nolan explained me the differences between Elemental bands. Earth bands were all known to use earthern instruments: drums, woodwind instruments and sounds of the human body, whileas wind bands sounded ethereal with their wind chimes and harps. Light bands were known to produce almost magnetic hums and ambient sounds. Nolan was just about to begin his explanation of fire bands, when the band quit playing and the guy in the emerald tuxedo threw his drumsticks in the air, yelling: “DRINK BREAK!” causing the crowd to go wild. A flutist popped open a champagne bottle, pouring foam over the front row watchers. They opened their mouths like a flock of hungry sharks.
“Is this always like this?”
Nolan pressed his lips together. “Yes, always.”
Nolan pressed his lips together. “Yes, always.”
A blonde girl dressed in a waterline-length dress as shiny as a beetle’s shell offered us shots colored like poisonous acid. Nolan knocked back the glass, his face twisting into a grimace. “Green wine,” he frowned, apparently displeased by the taste. “I hate it.”
“Green wine?” I asked, staring bewildered at the drink in my hands. I could still remember the feeling the fountain water had brought me, though I couldn’t memorize the taste. I turned around, offering the drink ahead to the first random person at sight. The band members had started to harass Rilla with bottles of clear liquor, which she refused repeatedly. She pointed towards the fountain and jumped off the stage. I dragged Nolan along towards her direction.
“Green wine?” I asked, staring bewildered at the drink in my hands. I could still remember the feeling the fountain water had brought me, though I couldn’t memorize the taste. I turned around, offering the drink ahead to the first random person at sight. The band members had started to harass Rilla with bottles of clear liquor, which she refused repeatedly. She pointed towards the fountain and jumped off the stage. I dragged Nolan along towards her direction.
“This party is out of control,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t want to imagine how the band sounds three hours later.”
Me neither. I raised my gaze, finding it had started to become darker. Despite all the alcohol being poured around us the air smelled clean. Perhaps it was how the earth palace was: somehow always clear despite what happened around it.
We reached the fountain soon. At the water Rilla pulled out an empty bottle off the ground and filled it up. “The band members just don’t get it. Not everyone in this world is a drunken jackass who wants to ride their champagne bottle naked into the moon.”
“Perhaps they only wait for solidarity,” I shrugged. “You could drink something to please them.”
Rilla’s denial was sharp. “I don’t drink anymore. After what… you know.”
“Perhaps they only wait for solidarity,” I shrugged. “You could drink something to please them.”
Rilla’s denial was sharp. “I don’t drink anymore. After what… you know.”
She capped her bottle, strolling back towards the stage. I sat idly next to the fountain, my eyes monitoring at the teenagers around me. Kaiyans and earthlings weren’t really that different when it came to drinking. In their very essence every teenager had the same kinds of problems. And in their very essence so many teens mistook alcohol being a resolution to them all.
“There she is!”
“Mein Gott,” I voiced, hiding behind Nolan as I saw them approaching. Alex, carrying several liquor bottles to each hand accompanied by a group of teens around his age had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. “It’s time to introduce you to the kaiyan ways…”
“OF PAR-TEEH!” Howled a really drunk Asian guy wearing a green shirt with the text ‘KISS ME, I’M AN EARTH-CHILD!’ on it. “What’s her name again?” he slurred in a heavy accent.
“OF PAR-TEEH!” Howled a really drunk Asian guy wearing a green shirt with the text ‘KISS ME, I’M AN EARTH-CHILD!’ on it. “What’s her name again?” he slurred in a heavy accent.
“Hilary,” an afro-haired guy in hipster glasses recited with satisfaction. “I love you, Hilary!”
“Alex, what is this?” I said, staring bewilderedly at all the random people around me. “Have you introduced me to half of Kaiya?”
“Only my best friends,” he began with a smile, flailing at the people around him. “Christo, Yin, Becca… and Kyle!”
“It’s Darren,” the hipster guy said. “I love you, Hilary!” he repeated.
“Alex, what is this?” I said, staring bewilderedly at all the random people around me. “Have you introduced me to half of Kaiya?”
“Only my best friends,” he began with a smile, flailing at the people around him. “Christo, Yin, Becca… and Kyle!”
“It’s Darren,” the hipster guy said. “I love you, Hilary!” he repeated.
“Whatever, Kyle,” Alex said, approaching me so fast I had no time to react. The next thing I knew was I had been lifted in the air by four people I had never seen before, ready to throw me into-
“Alex,” my voice trembled, and I exchanged a helpless look with Nolan, who apparently didn’t know what to do. “You’re drunk, don’t do-“
And then my head was underwater, my limbs all around me, trying to grab hold of the edges, pull me up. The water broke around me and my head emerged to the surface. It dripped cold and wet around me, gluing my hair into my forehead. My mouth tasted like dirt.
“Forsaken shithead,” I cussed, sprouting water like a miniature fountain. “Somehow I can understand he’s grown up with my-“
“Hilary, calm down,” Nolan said, holding a hand out. “He’s drunk.”
“Why do the guardians allow stuff like this? Where’s Aes? What the hell is going on?”
“Hilary, calm down,” Nolan said, holding a hand out. “He’s drunk.”
“Why do the guardians allow stuff like this? Where’s Aes? What the hell is going on?”
Nolan lifted me out of the water with a nervous look. Somehow my clothes were very much dry where he had touched me. “It’s a question of free will,” he said. “They test their suitability this way. The more competent an earthling is, the less the earthling drinks.”
“What a shitty way to test anything,” I said, shaking the droplets off my hair like a wet dog. The band had started to play again, and instead of running around wildly, the teens had gathered to dance in one spot. Here and there I could spot lonely youngsters just chilling around while some sat together with their friends away from the public. The doors to the earth palace were guarded by Aurelia and Argenta, who apparently were in the middle of checking out a group of shirtless guys near them. Aes was nowhere to be seen. I stared at the twin sisters with curiosity, the same way I looked at Severina these days – trying to spot identical features to mine. One of them apparently felt my gaze, because a second later was I was exchanging a look with them. “I’ll go talk to them,” I muttered before one of Nolan’s male acquaintances could reach us. The twin sisters giggled as they saw my wet hair but I ignored it. It wasn’t my fault anyway.
“What a shitty way to test anything,” I said, shaking the droplets off my hair like a wet dog. The band had started to play again, and instead of running around wildly, the teens had gathered to dance in one spot. Here and there I could spot lonely youngsters just chilling around while some sat together with their friends away from the public. The doors to the earth palace were guarded by Aurelia and Argenta, who apparently were in the middle of checking out a group of shirtless guys near them. Aes was nowhere to be seen. I stared at the twin sisters with curiosity, the same way I looked at Severina these days – trying to spot identical features to mine. One of them apparently felt my gaze, because a second later was I was exchanging a look with them. “I’ll go talk to them,” I muttered before one of Nolan’s male acquaintances could reach us. The twin sisters giggled as they saw my wet hair but I ignored it. It wasn’t my fault anyway.
“You got soaked,” one of them, the low-voiced spoke. “Wild guess: Alex?”
“Correct guess,” I sighed. “He’s an idiot.”
“We know,” the twins spoke in monotone. “Argenta dated him once.”
The low-voiced sibling, Argenta, rolled her eyeballs. They were a very deep earthly brown. “He has got no brains under those pretty dreadlocks of his.”
“Quite a few of the boys in the feasts have brains,” Aurelia acknowledged. I was starting to pick up slight differences in the two: the tone of their voice, the twitches of their lips and eyebrows. Faraway they would have looked like clones, they both having their hands on their hips, but close-up they had differences. “But I can’t deny they are candy to the eye.”
I sighed. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-five,” the siblings repeated.
“Correct guess,” I sighed. “He’s an idiot.”
“We know,” the twins spoke in monotone. “Argenta dated him once.”
The low-voiced sibling, Argenta, rolled her eyeballs. They were a very deep earthly brown. “He has got no brains under those pretty dreadlocks of his.”
“Quite a few of the boys in the feasts have brains,” Aurelia acknowledged. I was starting to pick up slight differences in the two: the tone of their voice, the twitches of their lips and eyebrows. Faraway they would have looked like clones, they both having their hands on their hips, but close-up they had differences. “But I can’t deny they are candy to the eye.”
I sighed. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-five,” the siblings repeated.
My eyes widened. “Oh,” I exclaimed, trying to picture Aes inside my head – he had always looked older to me. “That’s what I thought.”
Yet they all acted like teenagers, I thought. Nothing like Severina.
Yet they all acted like teenagers, I thought. Nothing like Severina.
The two stared simultaneously in the distance. Nolan was no longer at the fountain. Alex had jumped on the stage and danced wildly with Darren-the-hipster. Rilla had immersed herself into her song: it was a tune which had something familiar in it, as if it had parts of something I had heard on Earth. Her eyes were closed and there was sweat on her temples as she gave all of her to the melody. Not very far from us, one of the shirtless guys had chosen to urine in a flower bed. “Father won’t like that,” Aurelia acknowledged, her eyes flashing. “He knows.”
“Father knows everything,” Argenta added. “It’s like he’s rooted to the earth and the earth speaks through him.”
“It’s terrifying how much Aes reminds me of him,” said Aurelia. “He’ll become just like him.”
I turned to her with curiosity. “How is he different?”
“He’s the councelor in training,” Aurelia continued in a vague tone. “There are things he learns we don’t. He learns to channel the earth in new ways. He’ll become the human vessel through the Elemental speaks.”
The human vessel, I repeated inside my mind, cold currents running through me. Terrible, inhumane images ran over my eyes. “Where is he now?”
“Aes?” Argenta repeated. “Probably with father. Learning to become a guardian. That kind of stuff.”
I nodded, staring into emptiness. Something scratched my senses, moved in my eyes, hummed between my ears. But I heard nothing until someone slapped my cheek. It was Nolan – he had appeared next to me, replacing Argenta and Aurelia, who were now gone.
“Father knows everything,” Argenta added. “It’s like he’s rooted to the earth and the earth speaks through him.”
“It’s terrifying how much Aes reminds me of him,” said Aurelia. “He’ll become just like him.”
I turned to her with curiosity. “How is he different?”
“He’s the councelor in training,” Aurelia continued in a vague tone. “There are things he learns we don’t. He learns to channel the earth in new ways. He’ll become the human vessel through the Elemental speaks.”
The human vessel, I repeated inside my mind, cold currents running through me. Terrible, inhumane images ran over my eyes. “Where is he now?”
“Aes?” Argenta repeated. “Probably with father. Learning to become a guardian. That kind of stuff.”
I nodded, staring into emptiness. Something scratched my senses, moved in my eyes, hummed between my ears. But I heard nothing until someone slapped my cheek. It was Nolan – he had appeared next to me, replacing Argenta and Aurelia, who were now gone.
“Hilary!” he hissed, shaking my shoulders. He was incredibly strong – I could imagine him easily being able to throw me through the house if he wanted to. “Rilla’s calling us. On stage.”
“What?” I repeated, but had no time to think. We hurried through the crowd and up the stairs, now wet of champagne. Rilla smiled enthrallingly, her hair glowing wild red against the lanterns like I always imagined it. “I own the next song to my friends,” she said, a brave light in her eyes. From the way she looked at us I could tell she wasn’t high – yet she acted in a way I never would have dared in front of a hundred people. “Hilary and Nolan, do you have any proposals? Anything.”
“Nothing, unless you want to sing Like A Virgin,” Nolan shrugged. His eyes turned to me.
“What?” I repeated, but had no time to think. We hurried through the crowd and up the stairs, now wet of champagne. Rilla smiled enthrallingly, her hair glowing wild red against the lanterns like I always imagined it. “I own the next song to my friends,” she said, a brave light in her eyes. From the way she looked at us I could tell she wasn’t high – yet she acted in a way I never would have dared in front of a hundred people. “Hilary and Nolan, do you have any proposals? Anything.”
“Nothing, unless you want to sing Like A Virgin,” Nolan shrugged. His eyes turned to me.
“Anything?” I asked slowly, trying to keep my eyes alone on Rilla to miss the fact we were standing on a stage under countless eyes. “I don’t know do you know it… but it’s my favorite song. Do you know Chasing Cars?”
“By Snow Patrol?” Rilla asked. “Of course I know it. I know every single song there is. I’m a musician, don’t forget it.”
And then she turned towards the audience, singing the first words of my favorite song. To my surprise, the band could play with after a short while, only with a few flaws. Their red cheeks and foreheads showed they were clearly high, their bloodshot eyes that they had cried. I knew how the night would end – they would lean to each other bawling when making their ending bow and join into a hug like it were the last time they would ever see each other again.
“By Snow Patrol?” Rilla asked. “Of course I know it. I know every single song there is. I’m a musician, don’t forget it.”
And then she turned towards the audience, singing the first words of my favorite song. To my surprise, the band could play with after a short while, only with a few flaws. Their red cheeks and foreheads showed they were clearly high, their bloodshot eyes that they had cried. I knew how the night would end – they would lean to each other bawling when making their ending bow and join into a hug like it were the last time they would ever see each other again.
When I watched at the band play together in (almost) perfect harmony, the audience sway to the music, couples lean into each other their eyes closed not caring which element they represented, I realized what the Elemental feast was all about: unity. In that moment all was only green and brown, only earthly figures dancing together to the music like leaves to wind. In that moment there was only pure energy.
That was also the moment when I saw him.
He stood in between two trees in the darkness, close to the gates. Unless the light of the lanterns would have reflected off his eyes I could have never seen him. They shone in the night like two silver coins.
I found my words forming his name soundlessly. The gazes of the audience burned hot on my cheeks, but I couldn’t get my eyes off him. Rilla was in the third chorus, her eyes closed as she sang.
And then I ran, pushing myself through the crowd, the swaying bodies of the drunken teenagers. The lights flared in my eyes as blinding flashes, swirling fireflies through the air. The music made the air vibrate, resonate together with the earth’s rhythm. My heartbeat was everywhere, and when I reached him I could only hear the blood pounding in my ears.
And then I ran, pushing myself through the crowd, the swaying bodies of the drunken teenagers. The lights flared in my eyes as blinding flashes, swirling fireflies through the air. The music made the air vibrate, resonate together with the earth’s rhythm. My heartbeat was everywhere, and when I reached him I could only hear the blood pounding in my ears.
“She is a good singer,” were his first words. He leaned slackly against a tree trunk, looking refreshed.
“It’s not why you are here,” I said, staring at the way he was dressed. I could notice he had changed his clothes to a green tee and pants the same color. This time they were his size. “Where did you get those from?”
“I heard there was a party tonight,” he answered. “These were the best clothes I could come up with.”
“You didn’t steal them?”
Fera’s eyebrows furrowed. “Steal? Why? I am not a thief.”
“Yeah,” I breathed with exhaustion. “If you still sleep in a ditch, how come can you look so… fresh?”
Fera smiled idly, picking his fingernails. Normally it could have been an arrogant gesture, but his eyes didn’t leave mine. “I am very sure it is not why you decided to come to me. Have you thought of my offer?”
“An offer?” I repeated incredulously. “Is that what you call it?”
“Well?”
A sigh erupted deep from my throat as I took a leaning position. “I still haven’t decided what I think of you.”
“But could it work?”
“Could what work?” I raised my tone. “We… nothing can become of me and you, of us, if that’s what you think. Don’t you listen to the lyrics? ‘I don’t know where, confused about how as well, just know that these things will never change for us at all.’ It’s how I think of you.”
Fera tilted his shoulders nonchalantly. “Oh yes, I listened to the lyrics. I listened to them well. They also say ‘All that I am, all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see.’”
“I heard there was a party tonight,” he answered. “These were the best clothes I could come up with.”
“You didn’t steal them?”
Fera’s eyebrows furrowed. “Steal? Why? I am not a thief.”
“Yeah,” I breathed with exhaustion. “If you still sleep in a ditch, how come can you look so… fresh?”
Fera smiled idly, picking his fingernails. Normally it could have been an arrogant gesture, but his eyes didn’t leave mine. “I am very sure it is not why you decided to come to me. Have you thought of my offer?”
“An offer?” I repeated incredulously. “Is that what you call it?”
“Well?”
A sigh erupted deep from my throat as I took a leaning position. “I still haven’t decided what I think of you.”
“But could it work?”
“Could what work?” I raised my tone. “We… nothing can become of me and you, of us, if that’s what you think. Don’t you listen to the lyrics? ‘I don’t know where, confused about how as well, just know that these things will never change for us at all.’ It’s how I think of you.”
Fera tilted his shoulders nonchalantly. “Oh yes, I listened to the lyrics. I listened to them well. They also say ‘All that I am, all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see.’”
I could feel my cheeks flushing. “Are you hitting on me?”
Fera’s laugh was indefinable. “It is how I think of you. When I look into your eyes I see myself. I see a part of me which I have lost.”
A huff of exasperation escaped between my lips. The band began to play ‘I Could Stay Away Forever’, and I sighed mentally of relief. At least it didn’t have any ambiguous lyrics. “You make me mad! It’s like… like trying to make a contract with someone who speaks a different language. They’ll start offering you coconuts and bananas in exchange of golden coins and- why are you laughing?”
“What are you talking about? You should hear yourself!”
Fera’s laugh was indefinable. “It is how I think of you. When I look into your eyes I see myself. I see a part of me which I have lost.”
A huff of exasperation escaped between my lips. The band began to play ‘I Could Stay Away Forever’, and I sighed mentally of relief. At least it didn’t have any ambiguous lyrics. “You make me mad! It’s like… like trying to make a contract with someone who speaks a different language. They’ll start offering you coconuts and bananas in exchange of golden coins and- why are you laughing?”
“What are you talking about? You should hear yourself!”
I buried my head in my hands with an exclamation. “Shut up! Don’t make fun of my way of speech!”
Fera passed a hand over his face like he was wiping off the tears of joy. “Let’s make this easier,” he began, pointing at a spot little further away in the woods, a spot between two stones which looked like a great hideout. “Let’s go over there.”
“No way,” my eyes widened as I thought of the broken branches Nolan had been talking about. “I’m not going out there.”
“Are you afraid of the dark?”
“No,” I exclaimed. “I just don’t want to get eaten.”
“By who? Me?” Fera asked amusedly. “We have already gone through this. I am human, human just like you. I promise not to scratch your wrists open or suck your neck-“
“Human boys do that too,” I raised my brows. “Are you quite sure of this?”
There was begging in Fera’s eyes. “Did you follow me off the stage only to turn down every offer I make? You could need regular company. I can see your friends out there are not in their most presentable state.”
I glanced over my shoulder and saw Alex in the distance, now shirtless, running around the yard after a horde of giggling girls who apparently had also been soaked. Some guy looking disturbingly like Nolan watched a group of older guys pour foam into the fountain. The band members were struggling to hit their notes right, and I still couldn’t see Aes.
Fera passed a hand over his face like he was wiping off the tears of joy. “Let’s make this easier,” he began, pointing at a spot little further away in the woods, a spot between two stones which looked like a great hideout. “Let’s go over there.”
“No way,” my eyes widened as I thought of the broken branches Nolan had been talking about. “I’m not going out there.”
“Are you afraid of the dark?”
“No,” I exclaimed. “I just don’t want to get eaten.”
“By who? Me?” Fera asked amusedly. “We have already gone through this. I am human, human just like you. I promise not to scratch your wrists open or suck your neck-“
“Human boys do that too,” I raised my brows. “Are you quite sure of this?”
There was begging in Fera’s eyes. “Did you follow me off the stage only to turn down every offer I make? You could need regular company. I can see your friends out there are not in their most presentable state.”
I glanced over my shoulder and saw Alex in the distance, now shirtless, running around the yard after a horde of giggling girls who apparently had also been soaked. Some guy looking disturbingly like Nolan watched a group of older guys pour foam into the fountain. The band members were struggling to hit their notes right, and I still couldn’t see Aes.
“Won’t they see us from there?”
“They won’t,” Fera assured, his eyes on my still wet hair. Alex and the girls were disturbingly close to us, and I rather would have not run into him again that night. Or ever.
“They won’t,” Fera assured, his eyes on my still wet hair. Alex and the girls were disturbingly close to us, and I rather would have not run into him again that night. Or ever.
And compared to a shithead like him, wasn’t Fera quite… nice?
“Very well,” I agreed, following him deeper to the woods. The haze hung in the distance, making the deepest of the woods only green and black, but right above us there was a starry spot, and beneath the roof the foliage gave the forest stars shone unbelievably bright and white.
“Very well,” I agreed, following him deeper to the woods. The haze hung in the distance, making the deepest of the woods only green and black, but right above us there was a starry spot, and beneath the roof the foliage gave the forest stars shone unbelievably bright and white.
When we got to the stones, Fera sat in between them, his head resting on moist lichen like a pillow. As he gestured me to sit next to him, the lyrics of Chasing Cars rang in my head. ‘If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?’
There was distance between us and the air was cold, but I didn’t feel it. I only looked at the stars, the sounds of the party ringing somewhere in the background, like I was floating millions of miles away.
“Now, talk,” Fera said.
”What?”
“Anything,” his voice reduced to a whisper. Somehow in that second I was very sure no-one was aware of us being there, like we were little children hiding in their fortress built of blankets. “Just like you spoke to me when we first met. Just… talk.”
In the distance a star blinked right before clouds passed over it. “Sometimes when I was little I and mamma went outside in the night to watch the stars,” I began, pausing. “There’s something in their light which was comforting. We would just lay there for hours, hand in hand, watching clouds drift over us. My mamma would talk to me about the earth and how she loved the feel of the grass under her skin: that if she could, she would be a part of it. And I never understood her because I could only see the stars and close my eyes, still seeing them. And I would breathe the night-air and lay on my place until I lost touch off the tips of my toes and felt immaterial, like light – like wind. In some other way, everywhere.”
There was a silence and I turned my head into Fera’s direction. I noticed he had been looking at me all the time I had spoken.
”What?”
“Anything,” his voice reduced to a whisper. Somehow in that second I was very sure no-one was aware of us being there, like we were little children hiding in their fortress built of blankets. “Just like you spoke to me when we first met. Just… talk.”
In the distance a star blinked right before clouds passed over it. “Sometimes when I was little I and mamma went outside in the night to watch the stars,” I began, pausing. “There’s something in their light which was comforting. We would just lay there for hours, hand in hand, watching clouds drift over us. My mamma would talk to me about the earth and how she loved the feel of the grass under her skin: that if she could, she would be a part of it. And I never understood her because I could only see the stars and close my eyes, still seeing them. And I would breathe the night-air and lay on my place until I lost touch off the tips of my toes and felt immaterial, like light – like wind. In some other way, everywhere.”
There was a silence and I turned my head into Fera’s direction. I noticed he had been looking at me all the time I had spoken.
“Why do you do this?” I asked, my voice but a breath of cool air. “How-“
Fera silenced me by raising a finger. “Shh,” he cooed, his eyes on me. For some reason there was nothing awkward in the moment, as idiotic as it sounded – hiding between two stones inside the woods when there was a party around us. “The air,” Fera spoke, his words departing as a puff of vapor. “Doesn’t it feel cold?”
“No,” I said almost soundlessly. “It feels… good. To be blunt,” I laughed sharply, closing my eyes, “I feel better than I’ve felt for days. All this stressing out… it’s been killing me. Everything’s changed so fast. Suddenly I have to be something I’ve never been before… someone’s friend, someone’s sister, someone’s daughter. And in the same time I’m expected to decide whether my friends are really good for me, whether my sister acts like a sister enough to call her one, whether my father really is who he is claimed to be. I know you can’t understand a thing, but you don’t care, I guess. All this picking on you… it’s not how I wanted it to be. I don’t want things to be this way.”
“They don’t have to be that way,” said Fera. Things don’t have to be anything. I don’t want you to become anything you aren’t for me or for anyone else. Just-“
But now it was my time to silence him. I rolled over, sealing his lips with a finger. His eyes widened, but he said nothing, and I rose up gently, sitting next to him.
Fera silenced me by raising a finger. “Shh,” he cooed, his eyes on me. For some reason there was nothing awkward in the moment, as idiotic as it sounded – hiding between two stones inside the woods when there was a party around us. “The air,” Fera spoke, his words departing as a puff of vapor. “Doesn’t it feel cold?”
“No,” I said almost soundlessly. “It feels… good. To be blunt,” I laughed sharply, closing my eyes, “I feel better than I’ve felt for days. All this stressing out… it’s been killing me. Everything’s changed so fast. Suddenly I have to be something I’ve never been before… someone’s friend, someone’s sister, someone’s daughter. And in the same time I’m expected to decide whether my friends are really good for me, whether my sister acts like a sister enough to call her one, whether my father really is who he is claimed to be. I know you can’t understand a thing, but you don’t care, I guess. All this picking on you… it’s not how I wanted it to be. I don’t want things to be this way.”
“They don’t have to be that way,” said Fera. Things don’t have to be anything. I don’t want you to become anything you aren’t for me or for anyone else. Just-“
But now it was my time to silence him. I rolled over, sealing his lips with a finger. His eyes widened, but he said nothing, and I rose up gently, sitting next to him.
“I accept your offer,” I said. “We may see each other again. But there is one condition.”
Fera got up, leaning onto his knees. “And what is that?”
Fera got up, leaning onto his knees. “And what is that?”
“That things will never change between us,” I continued. “I know it is impossible. After we take you to the council on Sunday, Hestia will probably somehow be able to awaken your memories or at least make you remember your element. You will move together with your guardian. Perhaps even become a councelor. Perhaps find your old self and find out you have never seen me before, that I only look like someone you have known. Perhaps you will forget me. But my only wish right now is that things would be like this always, that we could meet at nighttime and watch the stars and for a swift second forget there is a world around us. And until things change my wish lives.”
Fera’s expression was indefinable as he looked at me through a fountain of dark hair. The sounds around us were starting to recover, his voice become distant. “I accept your condition,” he replied after a pause, pulling his hair beneath his ears. “But before I leave, there is one thing you should know. I know you. It’s not just an illusion, just a trick of mind. It’s the very first thing I knew when I saw you. And you know me too.”
“Yes,” I answered quickly as I rose up on my feet. “I know you. You remind me of mamma.”
There was a long silence when we only stared at each other bewilderedly, like the world around us was beginning to fall and it were the last thing we could do. When I finally blinked my eyes noticing they had started to water, he had already turned around and walked into the haze.
Fera’s expression was indefinable as he looked at me through a fountain of dark hair. The sounds around us were starting to recover, his voice become distant. “I accept your condition,” he replied after a pause, pulling his hair beneath his ears. “But before I leave, there is one thing you should know. I know you. It’s not just an illusion, just a trick of mind. It’s the very first thing I knew when I saw you. And you know me too.”
“Yes,” I answered quickly as I rose up on my feet. “I know you. You remind me of mamma.”
There was a long silence when we only stared at each other bewilderedly, like the world around us was beginning to fall and it were the last thing we could do. When I finally blinked my eyes noticing they had started to water, he had already turned around and walked into the haze.
The first thing I realized when returning back to the party was the time had passed.
Instead of the familiar band members on the stage, some amateur musicians had grabbed huge bass drums and played with them like joyous children. Despite all the drinks spilled the ground was empty of all litter and looked as perfect as it had when we had arrived. The fountain had turned into a huge bubble bath, and naked teenagers – both boys and girls, swam in it like it was a gigantic hot tub. Some youngsters were passed out on the yard in the most bizarre places, but none of them were familiar. The first two people I ran into were Aurelia and Argenta, who both had wetlooks like Alex had stuffed their heads into the fountain too.
“You’re still here,” Aurelia said amusedly as she saw me stroll out of the woods. “I thought you left together with your friends.”
“Nolan and Rilla left already?” I asked. “When?”
“Around half an hour ago,” Argenta estimated. “Rilla looked okay – she shone, but she wasn’t really pleased with Nolan’s condition. Apparently he had too much green wine to drink.”
“I’m sure that wasn’t of his free will,” I said, thinking of how official Nolan had seemed in the beginning of the evening. “How about the others? Have you seen Chyse? Or Talia?”
The siblings shook their heads simultaneously. “We were going to ask you a same type of question. Have you seen Aes?”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You said he went training with your father,” I began. “Wasn’t he there?”
“Well,” Aurelia sighed, “Our father wasn’t actually in the mood to talk – he just feels ashamed right now, but we trust him as he said he hadn’t seen Aes the whole evening. When was the last time you saw him?”
“Nolan and Rilla left already?” I asked. “When?”
“Around half an hour ago,” Argenta estimated. “Rilla looked okay – she shone, but she wasn’t really pleased with Nolan’s condition. Apparently he had too much green wine to drink.”
“I’m sure that wasn’t of his free will,” I said, thinking of how official Nolan had seemed in the beginning of the evening. “How about the others? Have you seen Chyse? Or Talia?”
The siblings shook their heads simultaneously. “We were going to ask you a same type of question. Have you seen Aes?”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You said he went training with your father,” I began. “Wasn’t he there?”
“Well,” Aurelia sighed, “Our father wasn’t actually in the mood to talk – he just feels ashamed right now, but we trust him as he said he hadn’t seen Aes the whole evening. When was the last time you saw him?”
“Hours ago,” I answered, remembering the nervous girl in her red, bouncy curls. “Just before a guest threw up into the fountain. Just before he followed you he told me we’d meet again tonight, that he had more riddles to tell.”
The twin’s expression was all confusion. Something in that look didn’t feel right – it made me feel rigid inside, just like Rilla must have felt when he thought Chyse had gone missing.
The twin’s expression was all confusion. Something in that look didn’t feel right – it made me feel rigid inside, just like Rilla must have felt when he thought Chyse had gone missing.
“He never followed us to the fountain,” they spoke in monotone.
“That’s… awkward,” I croaked, my mouth dry. “Everyone’s suddenly gone. First Talia, then Circus, Chyse – and now Aes. It’s hard to believe they’d be holding a party of their own somewhere.”
“A strange coincidence,” either of the siblings spoke. I didn’t pay attention to whom – my gaze was fixed into emptiness, where the fountain figures frolicked like ignorant children. The night air hadn’t felt cold before, but a breeze was beginning to freeze me from within. Shivers ran down my spine.
“It’s starting to get cold,” Aurelia said, noticing my goosebumps. “Unless you are willing to join the pool party-““A strange coincidence,” either of the siblings spoke. I didn’t pay attention to whom – my gaze was fixed into emptiness, where the fountain figures frolicked like ignorant children. The night air hadn’t felt cold before, but a breeze was beginning to freeze me from within. Shivers ran down my spine.
“It’s smarter to go home,” I finished the sentence. “I think I’m too sober to do anything else. But it was a nice party. Perhaps someday teens will learn to enjoy life without alcohol. But I think I got the point. It’s unity.”
The siblings smiled. “You’re smart. That’s what a councelor needs.”
“Yeah,” I gave a laugh, thinking of Alex in his angelic dreadlocks. “Unlike that shithead Alex. I guess we’ll be seeing each other on Sunday in the council summoning.”
The twins nodded, giving me a final glance. But before I could turn towards the gates which awaited me like a gaping mouth, Argenta spoke. “One last advice,” she said, pointing at a couple of teens who were apparently heading the same way as I. “Don’t go alone.”
Ei kommentteja:
Lähetä kommentti