tässä kuitenkin teille pari biisiä jota olen tänään kuunnellut (despite the fact they have nothing to do what i have written. hohhohhoo.)
Chapter Twenty-five
Thursday afternoon began by a trip to the center of The Cities. Nolan insisted me he had to visit the police station and ask whether they had any news of Circus. During the interrogation I stood aside and thus could register only little bits. Apparently the police forces had began to investigate whether the party had any uninvited visitors. While I sat on a windowsill and hummed a Snow Patrol song, I also wondered which kind of visitors could be uninvited – the Elemental feast wasn’t particularly a council feast. Perhaps they thought some rapist gang was behind the kidnappings. I still had the feeling something else was behind them, but Nolan was impossible to talk to when he was hungry. After leaving the station we marched instantly inside the first oriental restaurant we could find, exiting the doors with so much food it could feed a dragon. Perhaps Nolan planned awakening the fence figures of his neighborhood park.
“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” I said while Nolan searched his pockets for elemental tokens. His meals were piled at his feet, and as he huffed with frustration he managed to knock over a noodle cup. “That we’re actually buying ourselves oriental food while four of our friends have disappeared and one dwells in her teenage angst in Hestia’s palace. I just hope she won’t irritate her like she irritated me.”
“What did she say to you?” Nolan asked. He had bended over his meal containers and stuffed his hands inside them like his tokens had somehow ended up in there. “I am sure she didn’t mean to offend you.”
“It started getting too personal. Do the guardians always believe they can interfere in everyone’s business? They act like they know everything. But they don’t.”
“What did she say to you?” Nolan asked. He had bended over his meal containers and stuffed his hands inside them like his tokens had somehow ended up in there. “I am sure she didn’t mean to offend you.”
“It started getting too personal. Do the guardians always believe they can interfere in everyone’s business? They act like they know everything. But they don’t.”
“They are human beings too,” Nolan said, wiping his forehead with his smudged fingers. “At least most of the time. Do you have any more darkness tokens left?”
“No,” I answered, a little stunned by the sudden change of topic. “With the exception of the branding on my hand.”
Nolan frowned. “That won’t go, unless you want to chop your hand off. We have to walk.”
“Walk?” I exclaimed with bewilderment. “You seriously used all your tokens on food?”
“I’m a hungry, hungry man,” Nolan smiled, lifting his containers in his hands, even the ones half-spilled onto the ground. “Now I can eat these while walking.”
I gave a laugh. “Now I’m starting to understand why Chyse’s the smart-ass of you two. When you’re not in that all official councelor-mode, you’re a Neanderthal.”
Nolan furrowed his eyebrows with confusion but gestured me to follow. There were two kinds of people in the world – the ones who hated walking and the others who had no problem in it, even enjoyed it. Another point to prove my awkwardness: I belonged in the second group. I didn’t know of Nolan, but as long as he had his Chinese pork he seemed satisfied. Generally speaking our long walk wasn’t that unpleasant. The first thirty minutes we had a perfectly normal conversation anyone could have gone through, all until for some reason I started to think like kaiyans again. We turned silent and every few minutes I spoke my worried thoughts out loud, all until I noticed I had started to repeat myself. “I’m sorry I bore your brains out. But you probably aren’t listening, or are you?”
“Yes I am,” Nolan mumbled as he swallowed his last noodles. “I understand that you are worried. It’s good. It shows you have empathy.”
As I watched Nolan eat I couldn’t really be angry at him – he was too sympathetic. Overall as we found ourselves from Nolan’s street I felt okay. The feeling lasted until we entered the staircase and found we weren’t alone. “Someone has put the lanterns out,” Nolan said as the heavy door closed behind us leaving us into blackness. “Who’s there?”
There was no answer. In the darkness I could see a little blink in Nolan’s eye – the only light came under the first floor door. Still soundless he left his empty Chinese containers at the brink of the door, rushing up the stairs. His steps fell heavy against stone, and I ran to follow him, but he stopped me. It fell silent as he reached the second floor and there was a sound like matchsticks scratched against a rough surface. The air smelled like smoke, and a light ignited above.
“No,” I answered, a little stunned by the sudden change of topic. “With the exception of the branding on my hand.”
Nolan frowned. “That won’t go, unless you want to chop your hand off. We have to walk.”
“Walk?” I exclaimed with bewilderment. “You seriously used all your tokens on food?”
“I’m a hungry, hungry man,” Nolan smiled, lifting his containers in his hands, even the ones half-spilled onto the ground. “Now I can eat these while walking.”
I gave a laugh. “Now I’m starting to understand why Chyse’s the smart-ass of you two. When you’re not in that all official councelor-mode, you’re a Neanderthal.”
Nolan furrowed his eyebrows with confusion but gestured me to follow. There were two kinds of people in the world – the ones who hated walking and the others who had no problem in it, even enjoyed it. Another point to prove my awkwardness: I belonged in the second group. I didn’t know of Nolan, but as long as he had his Chinese pork he seemed satisfied. Generally speaking our long walk wasn’t that unpleasant. The first thirty minutes we had a perfectly normal conversation anyone could have gone through, all until for some reason I started to think like kaiyans again. We turned silent and every few minutes I spoke my worried thoughts out loud, all until I noticed I had started to repeat myself. “I’m sorry I bore your brains out. But you probably aren’t listening, or are you?”
“Yes I am,” Nolan mumbled as he swallowed his last noodles. “I understand that you are worried. It’s good. It shows you have empathy.”
As I watched Nolan eat I couldn’t really be angry at him – he was too sympathetic. Overall as we found ourselves from Nolan’s street I felt okay. The feeling lasted until we entered the staircase and found we weren’t alone. “Someone has put the lanterns out,” Nolan said as the heavy door closed behind us leaving us into blackness. “Who’s there?”
There was no answer. In the darkness I could see a little blink in Nolan’s eye – the only light came under the first floor door. Still soundless he left his empty Chinese containers at the brink of the door, rushing up the stairs. His steps fell heavy against stone, and I ran to follow him, but he stopped me. It fell silent as he reached the second floor and there was a sound like matchsticks scratched against a rough surface. The air smelled like smoke, and a light ignited above.
“It’s you,” Nolan said, his voice nothing but a whisper. “What are you doing here?”
I pricked up my ears but couldn’t pick up a response. “What’s going on up there?”
But Nolan answered nothing. Instead I could hear a familiar, blank voice. “I came for Hilary.”
Reaching towards the light I sprinted the stairs up with a few leaps, facing a mysterious sight. A lantern next to Nolan’s heavy doors had been ignited and he stood expressionless over a figure who sat casually on the floor. Under his dark hair I couldn’t see his eyes. Fera. “What-“ I began bewilderedly, my eyes flying on the sight of the two boys. In the lantern light their coloring was same, all shadows and outlines, but Nolan’s figure was buff compared to Fera’s slimness. “Did you break in?”
Fera wiped the hair off his face. “As you can see, I am still here. If I were to break in, I would have found my way inside the apartment. There are several ways to enter a frequently used building.”
Nolan looked from Fera to his double doors, as if he was unpleased to open them in the presence of a nearly complete stranger. “Hilary,” he began with alarm, “Could you please explain this?”
“Jeez, Nolan. It’s not like he’s some burglar who’s trying to loot your machete collection. Relax.”
But Nolan answered nothing. Instead I could hear a familiar, blank voice. “I came for Hilary.”
Reaching towards the light I sprinted the stairs up with a few leaps, facing a mysterious sight. A lantern next to Nolan’s heavy doors had been ignited and he stood expressionless over a figure who sat casually on the floor. Under his dark hair I couldn’t see his eyes. Fera. “What-“ I began bewilderedly, my eyes flying on the sight of the two boys. In the lantern light their coloring was same, all shadows and outlines, but Nolan’s figure was buff compared to Fera’s slimness. “Did you break in?”
Fera wiped the hair off his face. “As you can see, I am still here. If I were to break in, I would have found my way inside the apartment. There are several ways to enter a frequently used building.”
Nolan looked from Fera to his double doors, as if he was unpleased to open them in the presence of a nearly complete stranger. “Hilary,” he began with alarm, “Could you please explain this?”
“Jeez, Nolan. It’s not like he’s some burglar who’s trying to loot your machete collection. Relax.”
“What do you mean?”
“Open the door,” I huffed. “Seriously. He wasn’t trying to break in.”
Nolan looked at me questioningly for a second until he turned around and entered his apartment. “All right. Call him in,” he said, but I felt like he left something out like ‘and if he tries anything, I always have something to impale him with.’
“Open the door,” I huffed. “Seriously. He wasn’t trying to break in.”
Nolan looked at me questioningly for a second until he turned around and entered his apartment. “All right. Call him in,” he said, but I felt like he left something out like ‘and if he tries anything, I always have something to impale him with.’
The heavy doors closed with resistance, and the insides of the apartment were dark in the twilight. Fera’s eyes went from the tiger pelt to the bone table, but his expression stayed vague. It made me wonder what in his previous life had caused him to be like that.
“You…” Nolan began, his back turned on me, leaning against the windowsill. “You told him he had something to do with your sister, right? Can he be trusted?”
“Nolan-“
“I had not finished yet,” Nolan snapped, and suddenly he was again his official self. “He must be informed of to the council. This can’t go on like this. As long as the council is uninformed it is illegal.”
A puff of air escaped from my lungs and I kept my eyes on a vague target to keep my emotions in boundaries. “Stop talking of him like he isn’t here! We’ll go to the council as soon as we can, already on Sunday. There’s really nothing else we can do.”
I couldn’t see Nolan turn, but he meant his words for Fera. “You said you came here for Hilary. What do you want from her?”
“Let me explain,” I cried. “Please, Nolan.”
“No,” he said, his eyes attached on Fera’s. Fera was still perfectly calm in the situation. He said nothing, but I saw him walk over to Nolan his hands free as if to prove he was unarmed. He leaned closer to Nolan speaking to him in an inaudible tone, and to my surprise I saw Nolan walk away. “I give you five minutes,” he gestured with his fingers, then entering Chyse’s and Rilla’s temporary bedroom.
“Nolan-“
“I had not finished yet,” Nolan snapped, and suddenly he was again his official self. “He must be informed of to the council. This can’t go on like this. As long as the council is uninformed it is illegal.”
A puff of air escaped from my lungs and I kept my eyes on a vague target to keep my emotions in boundaries. “Stop talking of him like he isn’t here! We’ll go to the council as soon as we can, already on Sunday. There’s really nothing else we can do.”
I couldn’t see Nolan turn, but he meant his words for Fera. “You said you came here for Hilary. What do you want from her?”
“Let me explain,” I cried. “Please, Nolan.”
“No,” he said, his eyes attached on Fera’s. Fera was still perfectly calm in the situation. He said nothing, but I saw him walk over to Nolan his hands free as if to prove he was unarmed. He leaned closer to Nolan speaking to him in an inaudible tone, and to my surprise I saw Nolan walk away. “I give you five minutes,” he gestured with his fingers, then entering Chyse’s and Rilla’s temporary bedroom.
“You needed to talk,” I began, my eyes tight on Fera’s. I noticed the distance between us had grown smaller unnoticed, and his skin radiated heat like light. “What is it?”
Fera’s eyebrows arched in concern. “This was not how I pictured it.”
“Pictured what?”
“Our meeting. We still have a treaty.”
I glanced over my shoulder with hesitation as if I were seeing through the walls of the room Nolan was in. “What do you expect us to do? In five minutes?”
“The truth is I did not come here to talk. I came here because I was worried about you.”
My eyes widened with amusement as I stepped carelessly backward, my back hitting the wall. “Everyone seems to do that. Well, what? Are you worried Nolan’s going to flay me in my sleep?”
Fera’s eyes went from weapon to another, something glinting in his eyes. “No. I was worried of you because-“
Fera’s eyebrows arched in concern. “This was not how I pictured it.”
“Pictured what?”
“Our meeting. We still have a treaty.”
I glanced over my shoulder with hesitation as if I were seeing through the walls of the room Nolan was in. “What do you expect us to do? In five minutes?”
“The truth is I did not come here to talk. I came here because I was worried about you.”
My eyes widened with amusement as I stepped carelessly backward, my back hitting the wall. “Everyone seems to do that. Well, what? Are you worried Nolan’s going to flay me in my sleep?”
Fera’s eyes went from weapon to another, something glinting in his eyes. “No. I was worried of you because-“
Then I broke off abruptly as Fera’s reflexes moved so fast his moment was a blur. There was a flash and the sound of metal clashing on metal and Fera’s body was holding me back where he had pulled me away. All had happened too swift for me to register. As my senses sharpened, I recorded the sight of a fallen, sharp blade which was something between a dagger and a sword. Light reflected off the silver handle as deadly and sharp, and the weapon stand right over where I had been standing was now empty.
“Did you-“ I breathed, still dazedly, “Did you just save my life?”
“I think I owed you it,” Fera said, and as his breath tickled my auricles I realized how close we were, just as close as we had been in my vision. “After what happened with the fountain.”
“You can’t compare it to that,” I breathed. “I wasn’t dying.” The angled light of the blade reflected a flick of red off the furniture, and a shudder crept through me. Nolan’s home didn’t really rank on the top list of the safest houses in the world. “Now I owe you something.”
Fera recoiled as if I had said something wrong. “Don’t do anything you will regret.”
But as if his words had been only air I closed my eyes and pressed myself even closer to him, so close the lines of our faces entwined-
“You can’t compare it to that,” I breathed. “I wasn’t dying.” The angled light of the blade reflected a flick of red off the furniture, and a shudder crept through me. Nolan’s home didn’t really rank on the top list of the safest houses in the world. “Now I owe you something.”
Fera recoiled as if I had said something wrong. “Don’t do anything you will regret.”
But as if his words had been only air I closed my eyes and pressed myself even closer to him, so close the lines of our faces entwined-
And the door opened with a cough, Nolan stepping out his face white. His expression was slightly awestruck as if he didn’t really comprehend what he was seeing. “What is going on here?”
“Fera-“ I began, helplessly trying to reduce the quiver off my voice. “I just almost got impaled.”
Nolan’s eyes flew to the blade and a helpless stutter escaped from his mouth. “The blade – you – Fera…”
And then he walked expressionlessly to his blade, steadying it back on the wall, running back inside the room without a single eye contact.
“Fera-“ I began, helplessly trying to reduce the quiver off my voice. “I just almost got impaled.”
Nolan’s eyes flew to the blade and a helpless stutter escaped from his mouth. “The blade – you – Fera…”
And then he walked expressionlessly to his blade, steadying it back on the wall, running back inside the room without a single eye contact.
“Is he always that explicit?” Fera asked, a slight smile curving his lips. I answered with a nod. “He has rice in his hair,” he complemented.
I pulled slightly back from Fera, the pain of the heat growing too strong. “He’s the only friend I have for now. Everyone else…”
Fera interrupted me with a gaze, his eyes bright and large. “That was what I was going to talk to you of before-“ he nodded towards the blade, “that happened. That is why I came to you.”
“Don’t,” I said, silencing him with a finger. “I don’t have to drag you in this with me. It’s stressful enough for me already.”
“I already am. I came here because I knew you would be worried of your friends.”
“What do you mean ‘I already am?’ You can’t-“
“But I do,” said Fera. “I’m the only one who can help you, because I know where your friends are.”
Fera interrupted me with a gaze, his eyes bright and large. “That was what I was going to talk to you of before-“ he nodded towards the blade, “that happened. That is why I came to you.”
“Don’t,” I said, silencing him with a finger. “I don’t have to drag you in this with me. It’s stressful enough for me already.”
“I already am. I came here because I knew you would be worried of your friends.”
“What do you mean ‘I already am?’ You can’t-“
“But I do,” said Fera. “I’m the only one who can help you, because I know where your friends are.”
“You know where my friends are?” I repeated rhapsodically, blinking my eyes as if to find out whether I was in a dream. “Where? How?”
“I am not sure,” Fera answered vaguely, turned towards the window. He had started to walk around like I sometimes did when I was nervous. “I cannot remember it. But I saw it in a dream. It is said that the things we dream are never completely imaginary. They always have a hint of reality.”
“You have to tell Nolan about this. He can help us.”
“I am not sure,” Fera answered vaguely, turned towards the window. He had started to walk around like I sometimes did when I was nervous. “I cannot remember it. But I saw it in a dream. It is said that the things we dream are never completely imaginary. They always have a hint of reality.”
“You have to tell Nolan about this. He can help us.”
Fera looked at me wide-eyed. “He cannot.”
“He can,” I insisted in a clear voice. “You must only tell him what the place looked like and he-“
“It is a round chamber with six peaks,” Fera interrupted, freezing me. “It is the second floor of a hexagonal building almost like a palace…”
His voice trailed off, and I felt the gears in my mind turning. He was talking of the council. I had never seen the second floor completely with the exception of my dream. But what would Chyse, Rilla, Aes and Circus do there? And why them?
“He can,” I insisted in a clear voice. “You must only tell him what the place looked like and he-“
“It is a round chamber with six peaks,” Fera interrupted, freezing me. “It is the second floor of a hexagonal building almost like a palace…”
His voice trailed off, and I felt the gears in my mind turning. He was talking of the council. I had never seen the second floor completely with the exception of my dream. But what would Chyse, Rilla, Aes and Circus do there? And why them?
“That’s the council,” I explained hesitantly. Something in it felt wrong. “I have dreamed of it too. But are you really sure? If they would be there the guardians would have noticed them in their emergency council yesterday.”
“I am sure,” Fera assured. “But we cannot go there now.”
“Why? Why not?”
“Why? Why not?”
Fera took hold of my shoulders as to steady himself, and his voice trembled. "We have to do this right. I know I cannot remember my past or if I have done anything like this before, but it is something that is deep inside me, just like it is inside you. Every element is tied to an opposite pair - earth to wind, water to fire and darkness to light. They long for each other. Before doing anything we must present the elements a gift."
Fera's words visualized inside my head as some sort of pagan ritual with an animal sacrifice. "You're not serious," I exclaimed. "I've been told there's nothing hocuspocus in Kaiya. No pagan rituals whatsoever."
"It's not how you think it is," Fera explained. He stood in the kitchen fiddling absently with a tangerine. "We need to find something from each city and bring it to their opposite pair to please the elements. I assure you, this has nothing to do with a ritual. No lives will be lost."
From Nolan's mouth the words could have been easily associated by some shady council stuff, but as Fera said them they were like world play - any harmless, amused comment. "What?" I asked. "What kind of gifts? What do we have to find?"
"In theory there is nothing we have to find," Fera answered. "Do you remember the fountain of Light? I found my way there without remembering a thing of this world. My senses just lead me there."
I didn't meet his eyes. "Fera... are you really sure about this?"
"Trust me for this single time," Fera pleaded. "I am making you a favor. After this I promise to never ask anything of you again."
Fera's words visualized inside my head as some sort of pagan ritual with an animal sacrifice. "You're not serious," I exclaimed. "I've been told there's nothing hocuspocus in Kaiya. No pagan rituals whatsoever."
"It's not how you think it is," Fera explained. He stood in the kitchen fiddling absently with a tangerine. "We need to find something from each city and bring it to their opposite pair to please the elements. I assure you, this has nothing to do with a ritual. No lives will be lost."
From Nolan's mouth the words could have been easily associated by some shady council stuff, but as Fera said them they were like world play - any harmless, amused comment. "What?" I asked. "What kind of gifts? What do we have to find?"
"In theory there is nothing we have to find," Fera answered. "Do you remember the fountain of Light? I found my way there without remembering a thing of this world. My senses just lead me there."
I didn't meet his eyes. "Fera... are you really sure about this?"
"Trust me for this single time," Fera pleaded. "I am making you a favor. After this I promise to never ask anything of you again."
My eyes studied the lines of light on the cold stone floor. They drew shadow figures: Chyse, Circus, Aes and Talia tied up in emptiness, their bodies hanging limp side by side. And soon I was to join them too...
"Fera," I began, my eyes studying his expression. It was full of confidence and unquestionable certainty. It made my thoughts rearrange. What had I been thinking? I wasn't going to be next. Unlike the others, I was aware. "I... I'll follow you."
Fera's eyes enlightened. He turned around and took a bite of an apple as he threw the kitchen window open. In a second he had somehow parkoured his way out and stood unharmed on the gravel ground, munching his apple with satisfaction.
Fera's eyes enlightened. He turned around and took a bite of an apple as he threw the kitchen window open. In a second he had somehow parkoured his way out and stood unharmed on the gravel ground, munching his apple with satisfaction.
"Somehow I feel like I've experienced this before," I said, and with a raise of my eyebrows I hurled myself after Fera, landing clumsily in his arms. "Now I'm hungry," I continued, glancing up at Nolan's window. Somehow I had managed to push it closed while I fell. "I could have at least taken a kumquat with me."
Fera looked questioning as he offered me the remnants of his apple. "Take this. I'm not that hungry."
I took a bite, savoring the juicy taste. Somehow the apples in Kaiya tasted better than anything I had tasted on Earth, and their shade of green was so perfect they could have easily been made out of grass. "These could be straight from the garden of Eden," I praised.
Fera looked questioning as he offered me the remnants of his apple. "Take this. I'm not that hungry."
I took a bite, savoring the juicy taste. Somehow the apples in Kaiya tasted better than anything I had tasted on Earth, and their shade of green was so perfect they could have easily been made out of grass. "These could be straight from the garden of Eden," I praised.
"Actually, they are from the earth city," Fera commented, clearly not understanding my reference. "But I do not think they are good enough to gift the elementals."
"We need something greater," I realized. Fera had told me I could find what I wanted if I tried, but I felt no sort of pull into any direction. I turned my head and saw lantern-lit houses and the shadowy figures of Nolan's neighboring park. I took an experimental step and stared at the fence figures - the dragons and salamanders were all black against the crimson sky. It was already over sunset. I thought of the hourglass in Rilla's palace. The sand would be already reaching Friday.
"We need something greater," I realized. Fera had told me I could find what I wanted if I tried, but I felt no sort of pull into any direction. I turned my head and saw lantern-lit houses and the shadowy figures of Nolan's neighboring park. I took an experimental step and stared at the fence figures - the dragons and salamanders were all black against the crimson sky. It was already over sunset. I thought of the hourglass in Rilla's palace. The sand would be already reaching Friday.
"Not the most typical Friday for me," I began with a laugh as I approached the fence figures. "Normally I would just sit in café Play listening to music and drinking tea."
Fera followed me, jumping gracefully over a hedge. "Wasn't it lonely?"
"Lonely?" I asked. I had never thought of it like that. I had always enjoyed things as they were, because I had never thought there could be something better. "No. I can't say I particularly enjoyed my life, but I managed. Maybe all what I've experienced with you, all the 'lay with me and just forget the world'-stuff, it's all reminded me of my previous life. Play had been a place where I could hide from the rest of the world, music had been my way to forget. And in my dreams I would fly away and see the world how it was when the layers of artificiality had been scraped out."
Fera followed me, jumping gracefully over a hedge. "Wasn't it lonely?"
"Lonely?" I asked. I had never thought of it like that. I had always enjoyed things as they were, because I had never thought there could be something better. "No. I can't say I particularly enjoyed my life, but I managed. Maybe all what I've experienced with you, all the 'lay with me and just forget the world'-stuff, it's all reminded me of my previous life. Play had been a place where I could hide from the rest of the world, music had been my way to forget. And in my dreams I would fly away and see the world how it was when the layers of artificiality had been scraped out."
Fera looked at me intensively and I realized I had probably said more than I intended to. Sometimes he felt so natural to me I wasn't even aware of him being there, just like mamma had been. And if I ever lost him I would still imagine he somehow was everywhere.
"I wonder what's up with all the dragons," I stated as I noticed it had been silent already for a while - I had done nothing but stood there and looked at him with glassed eyes. "If Chyse would be here he would start some forsaken presentation. ‘Dragons and salamanders are manifestations of the element fire.’”
"You are nervous," Fera began, noticing my awkward laugh. "But maybe correct. This might be just the right place."
He turned his back on me and started hovering around the grounds as a blur of black and white. "This is a phoenix," Fera said, pointing at the hedge figure of a massive bird with spread-out wings and a long tail. "It is a symbol of rebirth. Just like water symbolizes renewal and purity." Fera walked over to the second figure. "This is a dragon. It represents detachment and universality. Like wind."
My eyes flew to the next figure, a salamander. "It's an earth symbol," I guessed, staring at its whipping tail and earth-bound feet. "Every figure here is connected to another element." I looked at Fera who stood at the phoenix. It was almost his size. "But these are hedge figures," I wondered. "And impossible to take away from here. Unless you have a chainsaw somewhere."
"There is something else," Fera said, kneeling before the phoenix as if he was performing a bow. "Look closer. Look for clues."
I walked over to the closest figure, a gigantic lion in a lunging position. The red of the horizon had changed into a cobalt blue, the wall lanterns being the only light. I stared curiously at a nearby lantern. It didn't seem anyhow attached to the wall. Raising up a finger and gesturing Fera to wait, I ran to the lantern and grasped for it, suddenly holding a flaming torch in hand. The torchlight made the shadows of the hedge figures alive. I was now dancing with the beasts.
"You are nervous," Fera began, noticing my awkward laugh. "But maybe correct. This might be just the right place."
He turned his back on me and started hovering around the grounds as a blur of black and white. "This is a phoenix," Fera said, pointing at the hedge figure of a massive bird with spread-out wings and a long tail. "It is a symbol of rebirth. Just like water symbolizes renewal and purity." Fera walked over to the second figure. "This is a dragon. It represents detachment and universality. Like wind."
My eyes flew to the next figure, a salamander. "It's an earth symbol," I guessed, staring at its whipping tail and earth-bound feet. "Every figure here is connected to another element." I looked at Fera who stood at the phoenix. It was almost his size. "But these are hedge figures," I wondered. "And impossible to take away from here. Unless you have a chainsaw somewhere."
"There is something else," Fera said, kneeling before the phoenix as if he was performing a bow. "Look closer. Look for clues."
I walked over to the closest figure, a gigantic lion in a lunging position. The red of the horizon had changed into a cobalt blue, the wall lanterns being the only light. I stared curiously at a nearby lantern. It didn't seem anyhow attached to the wall. Raising up a finger and gesturing Fera to wait, I ran to the lantern and grasped for it, suddenly holding a flaming torch in hand. The torchlight made the shadows of the hedge figures alive. I was now dancing with the beasts.
"Hold the lantern up," Fera advised. "Higher."
"I can't," I said. The air had started to smell of cinder. "Unless I want to torch these figures."
Fera's eyes flashed. "Maybe that is exactly what you need to do."
"I can't," I said. The air had started to smell of cinder. "Unless I want to torch these figures."
Fera's eyes flashed. "Maybe that is exactly what you need to do."
And then he charged at me and I startled backwards, the lantern flying off my grasp. It struck the figure of the phoenix, and I was no longer staring at a hedge figure. Aflame the bird looked phenomenally real.
"Nolan's going to be pissed," I said, but my voice sounded distant under the crackling of flames. The phoenix burned only for seconds as a bright ball of flames, and suddenly all was left but an iron frame and a pile of ashes. Reflexively I reached out an arm, but Fera pulled it back. "Do not touch. It is hot."
"Yes, mom," I sighed, laughing internally. Even though Fera was some sort of an amnesiac, he had more common sense than I the moment. "Do you think this is it? The ashes of a hedge phoenix?"
"Ashes are often used for purification," Fera said. "There is only one way to find out if we are right. We have to take these to the water city."
"Yes, mom," I sighed, laughing internally. Even though Fera was some sort of an amnesiac, he had more common sense than I the moment. "Do you think this is it? The ashes of a hedge phoenix?"
"Ashes are often used for purification," Fera said. "There is only one way to find out if we are right. We have to take these to the water city."
And once again - without surprising me this time - Fera pulled out a vial from his pocket, sweeping the ashes inside it. He capped the vial and looked at me, and for a swift second I thought I could see pride in his eyes. He walked over to the closest hedge, lifting his visage to the sky and disappearing.
I ran after him and called his name, and in a swift second wind had pulled me in: the smell of burning changed into a salty scent like the sea, and I was no longer at the fire city.
It took us half of the night to find the rest of the bounty. The streets of the water city smelled of salt and seaweed and reminded me of Venice – water soaked the streets and splashed under my boots as I and Fera ran. Somehow I was beginning to understand what it was like to be drawn to somewhere. My feet lead me instead of my head as the scenery blurred by and I found myself from somewhere without really knowing how I had found my way there. I remember looking down at the moonlit city from a rooftop without recollection of how I had ended up there. Fera had released the ashes to the wind and they had rained down on the city like snowfall. Starlight glittered on the surface of a numberless amount of canals, and it was then when I knew I had to capture the water of the streams and bring it to the fire city, water which was as reflective as a mirror. When we returned to the fire city and warped to the earth city the lanterns had all gone out. The earth city was dark and completely devoid of all sounds except the very earth itself while in contrast there was a constant background hum in the city of wind. I had never truly had time to imagine it, but as I stared at the houses built in dizzy angles and heights I thought it might be my home someday. It felt nothing like home, but it brought a subtle safeness which cleared all worries of my mind. It was already breaking dawn when I and Fera found ourselves in the light city, in a very familiar place.
Unlike with the other elements, finding the gift of light was perfectly easy. The very single moment we broached the boundaries a picture of the fountain of truth hovered in my mind. Its water would be what we would take.
“This might be the most exhausting night of my existence,” I confessed as my knees gave way before the familiar fountain. Though the sight of it was haunting, I couldn’t get my eyes off it, until Fera covered my sight my kneeling with me. “But also the best… for now.”
A smile crept on Fera’s lips. “Do you really think that?”
A smile crept on Fera’s lips. “Do you really think that?”
“I’ve never felt so… attached,” I continued. “I’m used to feeling very detached – maybe it’s just how I am – but now… the feeling’s gone. I feel like I am here instead of somewhere else. It’s not like I’m floating further away anymore. Like there’s strings holding me down now.”
“Strings?”
I looked into Fera’s silver eyes and remembered how kissing him in my vision had felt. “My mamma was one string,” I said. “She kept my feet on the ground. When she left there was nothing left. And now there’s you…”
There was a pause and we shared a gaze, the fountain light drawing a bright aura around Fera’s hair. It had been long since I had looked at anyone like him. When I looked at Talia I saw something unattainable and beautiful, someone I could never have – almost like I had seen Ashley. When I looked at Rilla I only saw a pretty girl I didn’t feel drawn to. I had always been drawn to only the people I couldn’t have.
“Strings?”
I looked into Fera’s silver eyes and remembered how kissing him in my vision had felt. “My mamma was one string,” I said. “She kept my feet on the ground. When she left there was nothing left. And now there’s you…”
There was a pause and we shared a gaze, the fountain light drawing a bright aura around Fera’s hair. It had been long since I had looked at anyone like him. When I looked at Talia I saw something unattainable and beautiful, someone I could never have – almost like I had seen Ashley. When I looked at Rilla I only saw a pretty girl I didn’t feel drawn to. I had always been drawn to only the people I couldn’t have.
Fera was just like that. I had promised myself I couldn’t ever think of him how I wanted to, that things would never change between us. We both did our best to prevent the wall between us from breaking like glass. But the water wavered, the tension between us grew stronger…
“There’s something I want to do,” I whispered, still breathless. I moved closer to him, and the tips of our noses almost touched. “Say stop,” I breathed, “If I’m going too far.”
And just like our visages had brushed before our cheeks touched. Fera’s bones were sharp and angled unlike mine. His nose carved straight and hard against the soft surface of my own… and his lips tasted like light and life and…
And just like our visages had brushed before our cheeks touched. Fera’s bones were sharp and angled unlike mine. His nose carved straight and hard against the soft surface of my own… and his lips tasted like light and life and…
Something made me jerk back wildly like I had been electrocuted. I staggered up and withdrew unconsciously, leaving him on his knees, staring bewilderedly at me. Under his hair I couldn’t see the true color of his eyes.
“I-“ I stuttered, my hands shaking. “I’m sorry.”
Fera said nothing but stood up, his expression still blank. There was distance between us, still sparkling with invisible electricity. I tried to catch my thoughts and rewind the moment, recognize what in Fera had made me step back, but I just couldn’t.
Fera said nothing but stood up, his expression still blank. There was distance between us, still sparkling with invisible electricity. I tried to catch my thoughts and rewind the moment, recognize what in Fera had made me step back, but I just couldn’t.
“We don’t have to do this,” Fera finally said, his voice hoarse. “If you do not want to-“
“But I do,” I defended, my fists clutched. “I do.”
“You don’t,” Fera insisted. “It is not what you want. We do not have to go wrong. We could just… lay here and forget the world.”
And with his words he tilted his body backwards, falling stiffly into the fountain of Light.
“You don’t,” Fera insisted. “It is not what you want. We do not have to go wrong. We could just… lay here and forget the world.”
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